Now I would consider myself an overachiever – I want to continuously learn and improve things, and I like, now and then, being told that I’m doing a good job. However, I would completely distance myself from being a gloryhunter. So forgive the following rant, but I have issues with gloryhunters and they need to be aired.
When I learn something, I learn it because I want to self-improve or so that I can teach others (especially as that’s my career). And, okay, I may share this information with others if I think it will benefit them.
If I take part in something, I do it because it will benefit me, or those to close to me and I might tell others that I did it.
I do not take about 100 photos, including about 70 selfies, with daily updates and post them onto every social media platform possible. This may sound extreme, but I know one of these people and they make me want to murder them. At least their case will be solved quickly because people will suddenly wonder why there’s no new updates, they’ll be able to look through photos to see that person’s last location, and I’ll probably end up being in the background of a selfie holding up a knife.
Yes, I may sound crazy, and I am completely aware that it shouldn’t bother me as much as it does. But with this person, there is literally no escape from the constant ‘LOOK AT ALL THE GOOD I’M DOING!’
Let’s call them Dorian (for Dorian Grey)…
- Dorian will go for a long run on Saturday and Sunday. There will be photos shared on at least 2 platforms, including selfies.
- Dorian will go to a seminar or training. Dorian will post about it and take selfies.
- Dorian will go home for vacation then put up daily updates about her jogging schedule, the presentations she has given at her old school, her family (the only thing that I am actually okay with), and all of these will have selfies and photos.
- Dorian will help a charity and then post photos of her helping the charity, and then the photos of the charity thanking Dorian.
- Dorian will do a class project and send at least 10 photos into our school chat (clogging up important messages).
- Dorian will dress up for a school event (good on her) then have her assistant teacher take photos of her. If the AT is not available, then she will take…anybody? anyone know the answer?… You got it. Selfies.
- Dorian will post about all the certificates she has for the multiple courses she has attended (not always relevant to her career, mind you).
- Dorian will post seeking advice on very, very personal matters (including a colonoscopy), and then post about results from those matters. You know, just to keep us all updated like the news.
- Dorian will take a little issue and blow it up into something much bigger, then attract the attention of superiors so it will look like she’s really taking care of the issue.
Basically the formula is – Dorian does good, Dorian tells everyone, Dorian gets happy because people gratify her.
I should clarify. If you want to post about how well your kid did – go ahead. You want to show that you went for a jog and did a personal best – good on you! Let me know about it! You want to show the work you’re doing to help a charity – I’m proud. But I don’t feel that a constant supply of reasons for a pat on the back is necessary.
Of course keep your friends and family updated on your life, but they don’t need to know about every breath you take. They certainly don’t need photographic evidence – I don’t imagine that people are gathering with pitchforks because they think you’re a liar. I don’t think they need to know that you, as a daily runner, are running on the weekend. There’s no surprise. There doesn’t need to be a news alert so that we can hold a day of celebration.
I figure by now that it seems I just have a personal vendetta against Dorian. Surely she’s just an anomaly, and I wish I could say that was true. To prove my point, let’s meet Hipster Harry and Anti-social Annie. Hipster Harry and Anti-social Annie are both in their late thirties. No children (which is absolutely fine – you make your own life choices) but they desperately try to live like they’re still in their early twenties on a gap year that’s lasted 15 years. We’re fortunate in our career (international school teachers) that we have opportunities to travel, and our pay allows us to live a more privileged life than the locals, and even people back home. This is a fact that I am very aware of and I avoid flaunting it. So here’s where my beef with HH and AA comes in.
I’ll start with a true scenario. HH and AA decided that on a 4 day weekend they would fly to Sydney. From our location it’s over a 12 hour direct flight. HH and AA actively avoided telling everyone because they didn’t want people saying they were CRAZY.
Here are my issues with this:
- Even if people had said – probably jokingly – that they were crazy, so what? Did they expect that they would be detained in the airport because they had been reported as not being sound of mind? Would the whispers of craziness have spoiled the vacation?
- WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY? You’re going on a vacation that will be incredible. You’re going on vacation for you not for the opinions of others (at least I hope).
- No one cared. Seriously.
What they failed to realise was that the couple they were traveling with hadn’t kept it a secret. So information about their bonkers trip had spread far and wide. People held meetings about how to help their mental health. Interventions were planned. Family members flew from the other side of the world to attend.
NO THEY DIDN’T. NOTHING HAPPENED BECAUSE NO ONE CARED.
Surely, you’re thinking, you’re blowing this out of proportion.
I shall offer a piece of evidence as proof to show that I am not.
Before the big insane trip, Anti-social Annie had been asked by someone about their trip. AA had immediately called one of her friends.
“Did you tell someone?” She demanded.
“No.” The friend replied.
“But suchandsuch knows about it, and I haven’t told anyone.”
An interrogation all over the fact that they were taking a long weekend trip to far away.
As they were headed to the airport, they posted cryptic clues that they were ‘headed somewhere new’. During and after their trip they inundated their social medias with photos of all the things they did on their ‘crazy’ trip. They highlighted the fact that people might think they were crazy. It began to sound as though they were reveling in the fact they had taken part in a ‘crazy’ trip but had enjoyed themselves so much. They wanted people to be amazed of how much they had done in a short time.
Further to this, Hipster Harry will on a regular basis post photos of trips they had taken from years ago. He will bring these places up in conversation over and over again. It’s as though he wants it to become an urban legend that will be passed on from generation to generation. And please don’t ask Hipster Harry how he achieves so much with his bad back – he’ll bring up his ailment in conversation regularly enough for you to be able to recite the story word for word. It’s as though he wants people to be jealous of his life, and I’ll be honest and admit that they had lived a really interesting life thus far, but for some people they will never get the opportunity to do any of the things that HH and AA have. At some point I feel like it goes from I want to share my life with you to I want you to be jealous. Are you jealous yet? Are you jealous yet? Are you jealous yet?
Another example: A week ago they rescued a kitten (yes, I am happy about this) but even after they had given it to someone else to take care of, they posted photos of them having a meal (another thing that cheeses me off because they regularly eat at expensive locations and provide the photographic proof) at an alternative restaurant due to losing their reservation elsewhere because *cue the casual mentioning* they had been rescuing a kitten. Even now, they’re still sharing updates on the kitten that they are no longer looking after, just seeking further gratification.
What happened to just doing things because you wanted to do them? With no recognition, no reward, no congratulations. Is everyone else doing so little that you need to show the world that you’re actually doing enough for EVERYONE? It’s great to be a go-getter but I’m not sure it needs to be put in everyone’s face. Okay, I hear you asking why don’t I just delete them… or them… but my answer is… I have. AND I STILL CAN’T GET AWAY FROM IT.
So before I completely boil myself up and begin hyperventilating, can someone please give Dorian, Hipster Harry, Anti-social Annie, and the other gloryhunters a badge or a certificate that just says ‘We get it. You do good. You’re better than us. Congrats to you’ and can that please be enough.