I know I’m not the only one this happens to. You’re casually sitting around and you begin daydreaming and then your mind goes “Hey! Remember this really embarrassing thing that happened TEN YEARS AGO!?”
I also know that this topic has been written about many times, but I wanted to share with you some of the moments that my brain likes to remind me about when I’d really rather it didn’t.
Case 1: Year 7 in Secondary School
I remember this so vividly even though it’s been nearly 15 years ago now. I was walking across the yard with my friend and two boys from my class came up to me. I remember feeling nervous because these boys were what I, at the time, considered to be cool. (I now realise they were definitely not.)
“Can we borrow 10p?” they ask.
“Oh, uh, sure,” I say, excited that I can help them – thinking this meant I too would become a cool kid.
I open my bag and start sifting through the back section to grab a 10 pence coin and as I feel the shape of it and begin pulling it up, I can see their faces get embarrassed. I wonder why and as I look down I feel my cheeks flush red and I pray that the ground will open and swallow me whole.
I’ve not only pulled out a 10p coin, but I’ve also pulled out a sanitary pad.
But not just any sanitary pad. This is a loose, cheap supermarket sanitary pad that’s been in my bag so long that it’s looking a bit worn…wait, not worn worn, but you get it.
I’m not sure whether what I said next saved the situation at all but I quickly said, “I don’t think you want that” and giggled, still hoping that a spontaneous tornado would pick me up and take me away.
Thankfully they didn’t say anything but just walked away as quickly as they could.
Case 2: 16 years old meeting my primary headmaster in a Boots store.
It was about Christmas time and I was out shopping for some last minute gifts, including a phone for my sister (which proves how much detail I remember). While shopping in a…drug store (I have no idea how to describe Boots – medicine, gifts, sunscreen, hair dye and…sandwich meal deals?) I bumped into my headmaster from primary school. I only ever have fond memories of him and we began chatting about what was going on now and he asked about my siblings. All in all it was a friendly conversation. Then it was clear the conversation was wrapping up, and so I said goodbye…
AND I HUGGED HIM.
I don’t know why! I’m not even that big of a hugger! But something in my brain convinced me that it was how I should say goodbye.
It was awkward to say the least. He was taken aback, I was taken aback, my brain was having a grand old time thinking of how much cruelty it could bestow upon me with this memory.
I made a swift exit afterwards.
Case 3: The boy’s housemates
It was a Sunday afternoon. I was heading over to a boy’s house and we were going to chill out. I was definitely hoping for some kissing action. I remember thinking I better get some because I’m missing the Disney movie that’s showing on Channel 5. Here I should probably say that I was 17, not a child. I also think the movie was either Pocohontas or Monster’s Inc – so good choices.
So we’re in his bedroom and we start kissing, it’s getting a little heated (but I’ll leave out all of the details) until we hear a KNOCK ON THE WINDOW. This is made weirder by the fact that we’re UPSTAIRS in his bedroom.
We look over and his housemates have scaled the conservatory to sit on the roof and knock the window and COMPLETELY ruin the mood.
Suffice to say I made my excuses, text my mother to be picked up, and grumbled about how I’d missed the movie.
So yeah, these are 3 of numerous memories that my brain likes to keep and remind me about them so I never get too confident, you know. I’ve got some more, but they’re a bit TMI so I’ll save you the experience. And although I do wish I could forget about these memories, I do enjoy telling the stories.